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Two Kinds of Thinking

22/3/2012

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I'm a great believer in the 'in-between'. That space between being awake and being asleep, where ideas and images come out of absolutely nowhere. That's where I get a lot of ideas for stories. The image of a pair of baby shoes on a front porch--not my baby shoes and not my front porch--led to a story that got me into Clarion. The image of a red wagon with laminated menus taped to it has led to another work-in-progress about kids in a post-apocalyptic world.

Right now, I'm stuck on a project. A rather big project. I'm a bit behind on my word count because I know that there are big issues I need to fix before I move forward, otherwise I'll end up in the weeds something fierce. I have things I need to figure out, others I need to tear out and re-do, and others I just need to move and give to new characters who are still waiting in the wings (this is what happens when you are writing fantasy/historic fiction set in 5 different time periods, with, well, 'lapses' in chronology).

So I'm thinking. Lots. And reading and re-reading research stuff. And planning to learn how to play faro this weekend (it's for research, I swear). And setting up for some British Library days next week. And did I mention thinking?

Because it seems that there are two kinds of thinking about writing: the active kind and the passive kind. I'm simultaneously doing both.

The active kind is looking at what you have and making a list (on paper or in your head) of what is screwed or missing and writing doodles and notes and drawing pictures and maps and trying to figure it out. You push and pull and poke at it. You are insistent. Sometimes it works. I think of it as the 'hard work' kind of thinking, like how sitting ass in chair is the hard work of writing. It ain't fun and it ain't pretty, but it's necessary.

The passive kind of thinking is the kind that happens beneath that, when you're NOT breaking a sweat about it. And that's often the most productive kind for me. For some of us it happens when we are showering or driving or doing dishes. Or dozing, in the 'in-between', and my editor has shut the fuck up for a minute. It's when you give yourself a break and stop poking a finger in its ear (Mom! She's touching me!). And, amazingly, it works. At least, it does for me, about 90% of the time. It's when I finally come up with that thing--the idea, connection, theme, whatever--that's been eluding me.

But I believe that active thinking is necessary before passive thinking works. To use a baking metaphor (because what's not better when there is cake?), active thinking sets up the ingredients, and passive thinking is the chemical reaction that gives the cake its perfect crumb. Going hippie woo-woo with your creation is cool and all, but some direction is needed or you end up with a mess of stuff and no way to make it a cohesive story.

I did some passive thinking today about the novel I'm working on. I was just resting my eyes, I swear! And I figured some things out. Made some connections. But the poking and prodding I've done over the past several days were necessary for me to have something to work with when I was ready to cook.

Now if only there were cake.

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WIPs: Can You Keep a Secret?

9/3/2012

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Works in Progress.

Every writer I know (and all of the ones I don't) has at least one, and usually about 27 pieces going at any one time. First draft, fifth draft, critiqued, still hidden away from humanity, submitted half a dozen times.

The WIP collection is like your underwear collection. Some are holey and have sprung elastic but are so comfortable that you can't give up on them yet. Your SO saw them back when they were new, but now you keep them for yourself. Others are fancy, special, their color not washed out and faded from too many washings. They give you that tingly feeling and you want to share them with that special someone.

Don't.

Just as it takes a while to know which knickers work well under which clothes and which just. don't. fit. right. and make you fidget, it takes a while to get to know your stories. And sharing them before they're right? It kills the buzz, just like sharing that fabulous matching black satin set with the lacing before you figure out how it works, how to put it on and, more important, how to take it off without swaying like a sailor on board a ship and tripping over your own feet. Not sexy.

OK, this whole WIP as underwear metaphor is getting a little silly.

I'm one of those writers who doesn't know what the hell I'm doing until the third draft, if I'm lucky. Talking about a story opens this door to the world that says "Hey, help me figure this story out." Only, I'm not so keen on getting that kind of 'help'. It muddies things. It turns into a "what about this idea?" free-for-all.

So I try to keep my mouth shut for the most part. And I'm picky about who I tell what to. A painter doesn't show a new piece to the whole world after every brushstroke, so why would a writer do it?

Treat WIPs like sourdough starter. Feed them. Keep them warm. And keep the damn lid on until they're ready to bake!

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Eroticon2012: A Newbie's Perspective

5/3/2012

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Picture
I've been to lots of SF/F cons, from Wiscon to World Fantasy Con to Eastercon, but I'd never been to a convention for sex bloggers and erotica writers. On the one hand, I knew what to expect as far as the fact that there were going to be panels, a merchandise room, etc. But on the other hand, this was totally different.

This year's Eroticon was held in Bristol, just a couple hours' train ride away. The night before, I didn't get home from an out-of-town trip until very late, so I only slept about 4 hours before having to get up at o'dark thirty to catch the train and make the 8.30-ish start of the con. I'd reserved a table seat on the train and, even though the carriage was mostly empty, I found myself sharing with two others. The girl to my right put in headphones and dozed, but the man across from me was curious. I overheard him say on the phone that he would be inside at a con for 12 hours so he didn't need the scarf he had forgotten. I knew he was going where I was going, and I suspected I knew who he was (the editor/writer Maxim Jakubowski) but was so tired and, well, nervous, that I didn't ask. Instead, I moved to take advantage an open pair of seats and doze for a bit.

I'm rather new to the erotica world, so I don't know many of the other writers or editors and publishers. Because I was so tired--and so intimidated by new faces--I wasn't exactly 'on' that day. It took me a while to warm up and meet people, but those I did meet were warm and funny and welcoming, and I ended up having an educational and, ahem, eye-opening time! I met back up with a few people I met at the Sh! reading, including Ruby Kiddell, who organized the con, Scarlett French, and KD Grace. And I made some new friends, including Jacqueline Brocker and Marissa Farrar, both fantasy geeks like me!

I didn't take any photos even though I brought my camera. Because of the nature of the con, attendees were given the choice of a black lanyard (photos ok) or a pink one (photos not ok). I wore my Disney Maleficent lanyard that I always wear to cons--purple and black--so I was in the 'photos are ok' camp but decided not to try to take any. While the panels were on topics important to writers in this genre, the writers and their questions were much like those anywhere: We all want to know the other writers' processes, how to improve our writing, and how the market is doing. I hoped for the ability to clone myself and attend simultaneous panels, but in the end I had to choose.

First up I went to Identity, Ethics and Sex Blogging. Even though I'm not a sex blogger, I am interested in the conundrum of identity when writing about sex. I made the decision to publish erotica under my own name, even though many writers choose pseudonyms for different genres. Some reason that a different name for each genre will keep the readers from being confused, but I believe readers are smarter than that. Others think it's better to keep a pen name when writing erotica so that you feel 'free' to be naughty, but I wrote my first erotica as 'me' and feel that all writing is freeing in its own way. I decided to OWN my writing, but that's not to say that those who choose pseudonyms are wrong. Not at all. I can totally agree to their reasons (often because they have children/families that they want to protect, and women are often judged for writing what many consider to be 'unseemly' or even downright criminal). But I like the feeling that I'm 'out' and no one else can 'out' me. I'm not waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Next up was the Writing Workshop with Maxim Jakubowski. While it didn't end up being a 'workshop' where we worked on our writing or shared tips, it was still interesting to hear about how Mr Jakubowski created the current erotica market with his Mammoth Book of Erotica series. We know, intellectually, that erotica and sexual images have 'always' existed, but it's good to be reminded that entertainment trends change and morph through time. I asked a question that might not have made me any friends, but I thought it was important. Mr Jakubowski talked about how STORY (regardless of genre) is of the utmost importance, and I have to agree. Some of the short erotica I've read is little more than a sex scene, not a fully conceived story. And, being new to the genre, I have been investigating markets, and some of them pay very very little (as a SF/F writer, I am more familiar with the SFWA's rules for pro markets). I wondered whether the low pay and questionable reputation the genre has could be contributing to some writers being less than careful about what they are writing. To be honest, being offered WAY less than the pro rate of $.05/word makes me question the quality of a market. One delegate later asked me if I was only in erotica because I thought there was a market. The answer (no...and yes...) is for a later blog post. But suffice it to say that I believe that, in the end, money should flow toward the writer and no writer should ever work for free.

The third writing/publishing-focused panel I attended was the Publishers' Panel, where I got an idea of how some different houses work, what sorts of work they want (Victorian spanking!), what they don't want (the done-to-death 'it's an affair/no it's not' story line), their opinions on pseudonyms (it varied), and whether they think erotica can be good literature (they do!). The two 'tech'/business panels I attended were a Tech Workshop on blogging (I've been blogging for 8 years, but there is SO MUCH I don't know. I was overwhelmed. I don't know where to begin) and one about Marketing Your Work.

Between panels, I visited the merch room. I'm used to tables full of SF/F books, new-age jewelry, and funny t-shirts, not a variety of smut books, sex toys and paddles! At the Lovehoney table (one of the con's sponsors), I talked to their rep and pointed out the toy I've been eyeing for a while (a rather spendy one... not a necessary purchase like food and books, alas!). I also picked up some brochures from publishers and added to the business card pile.

After the panels, though, things were definitely different from cons I've attended in the past, when we had the pleasure (ahem!) of watching a burlesque dancer perform and a spanking demonstration! There were supposed to be author readings (for which I came prepared), but the schedule had to be changed, so we ended with prize drawings. And that toy I pointed out that I had on my wish list? I WON IT! woot! :)

In the end, I had a quick dinner with one of my new writer friends, and then ran (yes, RAN) to catch a train, got home near midnight, and very happily got to falldowngoboom. There is talk of an Eroticon2013, and I hope that by then I will know more of the people involved in this new world I'm slowly inching into and have more to contribute to the conversations. Sex is such an important part of life and influences so much of what we do and think, but we don't seem to talk about it enough in a way that explores how it affects us. Erotic literature might be a small part of it, but, like all art, it's important in how it represents social attitudes and how it's used to subvert them.

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    Tiffani Angus

    Mostly thoughts on writing and the creative life.

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